Where’s the love? It’s hard to find in these places, where clichés, crowds, and other unpleasant realities can kill the mood for romance.
You finally made it: you’re canoodling on a Venetian gondola, while a musician croons a melody that seems composed just for you two. It’d be the most romantic moment of your life—if not for that stench from the canal and the bottleneck of gondolas up ahead.
Romantic destinations require three key ingredients: beauty, mystery, and a sense of exclusivity. But a foul smell can turn beauty into ugliness in a second, just as being one of thousands lining up to gaze upon a supposedly romantic sight can quickly rob it of its allure.
No one expects towns in the American rust belt or the cluttered backstreets of Mumbai to tug at the heartstrings in the same way as, say, Venice. Yet in some respects they have it easier. Destinations that lay a claim to romance are immediately held to a far more stringent standard. If those iconic hot spots don’t deliver a swoon-worthy stay, the disappointment can be akin to being jilted at the altar.
Paris, for example, may well have written the book on romance, but it sometimes feels like the clichéd Harlequin variety, especially during summertime around the city’s most famous sights, which lure every lovebird within 10,000 miles. The dispiriting result is hordes of camera-toting couples, jostling as they attempt to re-create scenes from Midnight in Paris or Amélie.
Similarly, trekking with your loved one to reach the ruins of Machu Picchu at sunrise seems like romantic nirvana—until you find your physical (and relationship) limits tested by being stuck for days in a 12-person group with a case of altitude sickness or vertigo.
After all, you can’t assume other travelers will be on board with your romantic plans. That’s a lesson Philadelphia-based T+L reader Nanette learned the hard way on a recent cruise: “I expected The Love Boat, but it just ended up being a crazy booze cruise,”
Anyone who’s tried to arrange a memorable moment for a paramour knows that romance is tricky to orchestrate. Some of the destinations on our list can live up to their reputations as dreamy getaways—it’s just a matter of navigating their hidden hazards. Others face greater obstacles. But the bottom line: with the right partner and a spirit for adventure, almost anywhere can be romantic.
Atami, Japan
Honeymooners once flocked to this small town outside of Tokyo. While its glory days are long gone, that hasn’t stopped planners from attempting to reinvent Atami as a romantic destination—for lonely single men. These fans of the dating simulation game LovePlus+ come to Atami with their mobile phones to have photos taken at various points around town. In the final image on the screen, the cartoon girlfriend of their dreams appears by their side. Digital-age romance has never seemed so sad.
How to Find the Romance: Take a midweek jaunt to Hakone, an hour from Shinjuku via the Romance Car train (so named because of the loveseat layout). This picturesque town—famous for hot springs, lakes, and gardens—offers plenty of its own photo-ops including Mount Fuji as a backdrop.
Venice’s Canals
The gondolas that ply Venice’s labyrinthine waterways are now mostly a means to fleece starry-eyed honeymooners out of a quick hundred euros. Unless you’ve had your heart set on it, avoiding those floating tourist traps is easy. But Venice has another dirty little secret. In winter, the Adriatic Sea routinely backs up the ancient plumbing, resulting in a distasteful aroma sure to overwhelm even the most enchanting perfume.
How to Find the Romance: Ditch the crowds on the neighboring island of Giudecca. The view across the canal from the rooftop pool of the Hilton Molino Stuckey Venice Hotel is breathtaking. A breath of fresh air, even
Downtown Dubai
While this emirate has a cosmopolitan, modern sheen, visitors would be well advised to respect local laws and customs. This is one melting pot of diverse cultures, values, and social mores that can sometimes boil over. Consider the British couple arrested in 2010 for kissing in public. Both received one month in jail but were spared lashes, a common punishment for such crimes. Still, travelers can’t say they weren’t warned: the Dubai Mall displays prominent signage asking guests to abstain from public displays of affection.
How to Find the Romance: Retreat to the desert, where you can stay beyond the reach of judging eyes at Al Maha Resort and Spa, built by the Sheikh Khalifa. The private villas with oversize plunge pools overlook the shifting sands within Dubai’s first national park and are, not surprisingly, fit for royalty.
Paris’s Iconic Sights
Ideally, romantic places should give off a special je ne sais quoi, a sense that no other couple has set foot there. In France, that illusion requires serious effort. The country attracts 76.8 million tourists a year, more than any other, according to a United Nations World Tourism study from 2010. You can bet a good portion of them are lovebirds intent on a romantic stroll along the Champs-Élysées, a keepsake photo atop the Eiffel Tower, and a passionate kiss on the Pont Neuf.
How to Find the Romance: Seek out intrigue in the burgeoning 10th, 11th, and 12th arrondissements, which are just as swoon-worthy (intimate restaurants, 19th-century canals, and leafy promenades) minus all those swooners.
Mykonos in High Season
The cobblestoned alleyways and whitewashed houses draped with sprays of vibrant bougainvillea of this fabled Greek island make for an idyllic afternoon stroll, if you happen to be there in off-season. If not, an entirely less desirable personality emerges, as these same streets fill with spring breakers, stadium-size speakers, broken bottles, and other party detritus.
How to Find the Romance: Rent a villa off-season (October to March), when prices are lower and locals have time to make you feel welcome.
Honeymoon Hotels of the Poconos, PA
Coal and diamonds are close geological cousins, but unfortunately that doesn’t make the anthracite-rich environs of the Poconos a diamond in the rough. While the mountainous northeastern region has billed itself as a romantic weekend getaway, decades of mining have left many area towns feeling depressingly industrial, and the accommodations can be, well, kind of chintzy. This is, after all, the birthplace of the heart-shaped tub.
How to Find the Romance: Big industry and wealthy industrialists go hand-in-hand, so seek out the sort of places the swells frequented at the height of the mining boom. The Dorflinger-Suydam Wildlife Sanctuary, for instance, was once a retreat for a glass magnate and is a short drive from the swanky, under-the-radar Lodge at Woodloch.
Cancún’s Hotel Zone
The coming of spring is celebrated in Cancún with the clink of plastic cups and the toast of cheap margaritas. That’s not to say that many romances have not taken their first lurching steps at this fabled resort area on the tip of the Yucatán Peninsula—it’s just that the romance may well have been intended to last only the night.
How to Find the Romance: Head an hour down the coast to Tulum, on the Riviera Maya, where romantic restaurants and boutique hotels dot the shore. The only disturbance during a midnight stroll might be from the turtles, which lay their eggs there every summer.
Bangkok’s Patpong Road
During the Vietnam War, Bangkok became an infamous destination for GIs seeking a bit of R&R. The sex industry that flourished as a result remains—the number of male tourists from rich Western countries still outnumbers females two to one—and it adds a sleazy edge to some restaurants and bars, notably along the Patpong Road strip.
How to Find the Romance: The sleaze is largely a city problem, so head to remote romantic regions like the Golden Triangle (a former opium farming region) instead, where the trumpeting of elephants replaces the blast of car horns.
Machu Picchu, Peru
The awe-inspiring ruins of Machu Picchu belong on any respectable bucket list, just not necessarily your honeymoon registry. The fantasy of summiting 7,970 feet to the Incan ruin with only your beau by your side is just that: a fantasy. In reality, the four-day Inca Trail hike should be booked six months in advance, and that’s to secure a spot among a group of 12. It’s all too possible someone will freak out over the precipitous trail or succumb to altitude sickness. Prepare to have your relationship limits tested.
How to Find the Romance: Get a God’s-eye view of Machu Picchu instead, by taking a helicopter tour over the ancient site.
Guam
Tahiti isn’t in danger of losing South Pacific–bound lovebirds to this U.S. territory. Guam is more notable for its chain stores, fast food joints, and the largest Kmart on earth than for indigenous cultural charm. The 170,000 locals also consume more Spam per capita than anywhere else. And if there’s anything less romantic than canned ham, we don’t want to know about it.
How to Find the Romance: For the heart-pounding rush that comes with storm-watching, time your visit to Guam’s typhoon season (August–October). Settle into JAL Hotel Nikko’s 16th-floor restaurant, where you can see the clouds and rain gather force and then slam over Tamuning’s Gun Beach. Otherwise, opt for Bora-Bora.
Kingston, Jamaica
There’s some trouble in this Caribbean paradise, which has seen bouts of gang violence, mostly in poor areas of Kingston. That isn’t typical tourist territory, but as a result, armed guards are common at Jamaican resorts—which some couples may find more off-putting than reassuring. Do your homework to steer clear of spring breakers and to distinguish any cheesy all-inclusives from fab ones like Couples Tower Isle.
How to Find the Romance: The good news is it’s easy—even in partying Negril, there are alluring properties like the Rockhouse Hotel, a cluster of thatched-roof bungalows above an aquamarine cove (most have private patios or sundecks).
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